Ruth Sadelle Alderson

Disagreeing with fandom since 1999.

September Writing Goals Report, October Writing Goals
rsadelle
Report on September:
  • Do some work on AGally/Prusty fic every day except Thursdays until it's finished. - Check!

  • Once AGally/Prusty fic is done, pick something else to work on every day except Thursdays. - Sort of. I did work on something every day except Thursdays, but it wasn't always the same thing.

  • Maybe work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic, rewriting bits at the beginning and/or doing some research to help with the middle bits. - No.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired. - Check!

  • Say positive things on Twitter. - Mostly.

Goals for October:
  • Do some work on AGally/Prusty mpreg every day except Thursdays.

  • Maybe work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic, rewriting bits at the beginning and/or doing some research to help with the middle bits.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired.

  • Say positive things on Twitter.

When the Trailer Is Better Than the Movie: When the Game Stands Tall
rsadelle
I cried through the trailer for When the Game Stands Tall three times in theaters, and I was really looking forward to crying through the movie since I love sports movies. Sadly, the movie didn't live up to the promise of the trailer.

Spoilers/ReviewCollapse )
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Feelings, Goals, and Treats
rsadelle
The central piece of the workbook section of The Desire Map is the part where you figure out your core desired feelings (or CDFs, as Danielle calls them). You start by brainstorming how you want to feel in each area of your life, then she has you think about each word/look up their meanings and see how they resonate with you, and then work on narrowing down your list.

I did the first round of brainstorming, and then felt a little thrill of relief when I started looking up words and many of them had similar meanings. I had an underlying worry that I was doing it "wrong" as I was brainstorming, and the convergence seemed to mean I was doing it right. I narrowed it down to four words. They were good words, good feelings, certainly things I want to feel. And I didn't connect with them. I let them sit on the living room floor at the top of the stack of paper I'd been writing my answers out on, and I just never felt excited about them.

I did what meditation teaches you to do and I started over. I also ditched the rules - Danielle's advice on CDFs is to stick with nouns - and told myself to write down whatever I genuinely wanted to feel, not what I thought would be good answers. I narrowed those down. And narrowed them down some more. And then I had four things. Two of them I was pretty sure about, and two of them I still needed to think about. So I let that list sit on the living room floor at the top of the stack and thought about it off and on. One of Danielle's suggestions for using your CDFs is to, in moments where you're not feeling how you want to feel, remind yourself of how you want to feel. The section of the workbook after figuring out your CDFs has you write down what you would need to feel that way. So one day when I was feeling frustrated and decidedly not how I wanted to feel, I said to myself, "What would make you feel [feeling from my list] right now?" The only one that worked for me was one of the two I was pretty sure about: relaxed. Just thinking, "What would make you feel relaxed right now?" made me relax.

It's taken me a little bit to be okay with relaxed as a core desired feeling. There's a part of me that reacted to it with a "Really? That's all you want?" kind of attitude. I also have a twinge of, "But what if that's just a reactionary wish and not something deeper?" What I actually wrote down for more than one life area was "relaxed (free of tension)," and that seems less like something I want because I want it and more like something I want because it's the opposite of something I really don't want - and something I not only don't want but have been experiencing a lot of in the last few years. But I keep reminding myself that it's still something I want.

The other thing that's happening in my life is that it's summer, and as those of you who have been around for a while know, I don't deal well with the heat. Every summer I've been trying to be better about self-care and being gentle with myself. This summer I decided that part of my self-care and trying to be more relaxed was to ease waaaaaay up on my writing goals. I dumped all original fic goals from my list. I put off making fic goals until after I finished doing prompt snippets at the beginning of July, and then when I made my weekly goals, I decided my official goal was to do some work on AGally/Prusty dating fic every day except Thursdays. My unofficial not exactly a goal was that I would like to write at least 200 words of it every day except Thursdays. Somehow, having the official goal of "just do something" and a word count as an "I'd like to" really works for me. I wrote at least 200 words of it most days. Just as importantly, on the days that I didn't make it to 200, I didn't feel anxious or stressed out about it, and because my actual goal was to write something, it didn't push any of my "you're a failure" buttons.

There's one more piece to my current strategy, which is something I picked up from Gretchen Rubin. I don't connect quite as much with her current focus on habits as I did with her happiness work, but there's one thing that's working for me. Her habits work is divided into various strategies. One of these is the "Strategy of Treats," and she wrote a post (warning for diet and weight talk) about it where she says, "If we want to stick to our good habits, we should try very hard never to allow ourselves to feel deprived. ... When we give ourselves plenty of healthy treats, we don’t feel deprived." In one of her other posts on the Strategy of Treats, she says, "A treat is different from a reward, which must be justified or earned. A treat is a small pleasure or indulgence that we give to ourselves just because we want it." I changed my habits because of this. Before, I wasn't allowing myself to do anything purely for fun in the mornings until I met my writing goals - checking Tumblr and fic reading were rewards, and writing fic was a reward for doing my original writing. But that always made me feel deprived. I've really changed my approach now in that I will check Tumblr and maybe read some (short) fic first thing in the morning, and then write.

Since I've made several changes all at once (this is a highly unscientific process), it's hard to tease out exactly what's making the difference - or if it's all of it put together - but I find myself feeling more relaxed in general, more relaxed about my goals, and much less resentful of my goals.

Ficcish: don't call me, I won't call you (Hockey, Tyler Brown, 3100 words, Teen)
rsadelle
Summary: That first night, alone in Cal and Kelly's guest bedroom, Tyler changes his Facebook status to single, hides Segs from his feed, stops following him on Instagram, stops following the Stars Foundation on Twitter, deletes the Stars app from his phone so he won't get their updates.

Notes: This is slightly AU because I wrote it before the summer. Title from Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls Chase Boys."

Story on AO3


don't call me, I won't call youCollapse )

August Writing Goals Report, September Writing Goals
rsadelle
Report on August:
  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: start rewriting bits at the beginning and/or do some research to help with the middle bits. - No.

  • Finish editing/post TBrown/OFC fic. - Check!

  • Do some work on AGally/Prusty fic every day except Thursdays. - Check!

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired. - Check!

  • Say positive things on Twitter. - Uh, mostly.

Goals for September:
  • Do some work on AGally/Prusty fic every day except Thursdays until it's finished.

  • Once AGally/Prusty fic is done, pick something else to work on every day except Thursdays.
  • Maybe work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic, rewriting bits at the beginning and/or doing some research to help with the middle bits.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired.

  • Say positive things on Twitter.

Fic: When It's Right (Hockey, Tyler Brown/Original Female Character, 31800 words, Explicit) 3/3
rsadelle
Part 1 - Part 2


When It's Right (3/3)Collapse )

Fic: When It's Right (Hockey, Tyler Brown/Original Female Character, 31800 words, Explicit) 2/3
rsadelle
Part 1

When It's Right (2/3)Collapse )

Fic: When It's Right (Hockey, Tyler Brown/Original Female Character, 31800 words, Explicit) 1/3
rsadelle
Summary: Kelsey wasn't looking to date, so when the guy in the bar told her he wouldn't call her later, it seemed like a good chance to hook up without having to get entangled any further. It was only ever supposed to be a one-night stand.

Notes: Many thanks to everyone who answered my miscellaneous and varied questions on Twitter, with special thanks to jrho who threw out the title suggestion I ended up using. Everything I know about Glens Falls I learned from the internet; details may be wrong. This roughly follows last season's schedule, but goes slightly AU at the end because reality did not match up to what I'd already written.

Story on AO3


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July Writing Goals Report, August Writing Goals
rsadelle
Report on July:
  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: start rewriting bits at the beginning and/or figure out/find someone to help me figure out what happens in the middle bits. - Found some people to help me figure out the middle bits.

  • Edit/post TBrown/OFC fic. - Not quite. It needs one more read-through and a title.

  • Work on AGally/Prusty fic. Word count to be determined later. - Check!

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired. - Check!

  • Say positive things on Twitter. - Eh. Some. I had a meltdown and was pretty cranky for a few days in there.

Goals for August:
  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: start rewriting bits at the beginning and/or do some research to help with the middle bits.

  • Finish editing/post TBrown/OFC fic.

  • Do some work on AGally/Prusty fic every day except Thursdays.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired.

  • Say positive things on Twitter.

Begin Again
rsadelle
I kind of wanted to see Begin Again anyway, and then lakeeffectgirl kept talking about how great it is, so I put it on my calendar and went to see it on Saturday.

If you want a very detailed recap of the movie, go read lakeeffectgirl's post. Here's my brief recap so you know what I'm talking about: Spoilers and Progressive PoliticsCollapse )

Prompt Snippet Roundup
rsadelle
This took me a little longer than I anticipated, but here's what I wrote:

Better Than a Superhero (LJ, AO3) for dine. Hockey, Alexander Ovechkin, Sidney Crosby, Taylor Crosby, Evgeni Malkin gen, General Audiences, 2600 words: When they're headed out onto the ice, Alex bumps Crosby's shoulder and says, very seriously, "Your sister much prettier than Bennett, but not as pretty as my Masha," and gets rewarded with Crosby's laughter echoing off the glass.

Two Guesses; One Correct (LJ, AO3) for mourning_night. Hockey, Tyler Brown/Tyler Seguin, Teen, 1300 words: Brownie looks even more confused than Tyler did by the whole conversation. "I thought you weren't going to tell him you're a sub yet."

Pour Yourself All Over Me (LJ, AO3) for an anonymous request. Hockey, Danny Briere/P.K. Subban, Explicit, 2300 words: Later, P.K. takes to just showing up at Danny's door, sometimes with food, sometimes just with a smile. Occasionally, when Danny invites him over, with a smirk and comments about Danny making booty calls. But the first time he texts, What's your address?

are you thinking of me the times I'm thinking of you (LJ, AO3) for icanbreakthesky. Hockey, Paul Martin/James Neal, Teen, 2800 words: Five things Paul baked for James, plus one thing James baked for Paul.

Third Wheel (LJ, AO3) for ninja_orange. Hockey, Tyler Brown/Tyler Seguin/Original Female Character, Tyler Brown/Original Female Character, Explicit, 4500 words: "Actually," Katie says, "I think a third wheel is exactly what this date needs."
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How I became insecure about posting fic
rsadelle
I've made a few false starts at trying to write out this story and I've told bits and pieces of it before, mostly in tiny comments over Twitter, but I haven't told the whole thing to anyone, not even my closest friends. I didn't want - and still don't want - anyone to tell me my feelings are wrong or give me advice. While I might be able to manage it now, at the time I didn't know how to say, even to the people I'm closest to, "This thing happened and my feelings are hurt. Please only say things to me that can be rephrased as 'Poor baby. I'm sorry that happened to you. I love you/think you're great/know you're awesome.'" Telling this story to all of you feels scary and vulnerable: I'm telling you about something that hurt my feelings, I'm telling you about the soft places where I can be hurt, and I just have to trust that you're not going to use it to hurt me.

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June Writing Goals Report, July Writing Goals
rsadelle
I took a break from rigid writing goals for most of June, which I think was in some ways a good thing, but I think I also need to have some goals. (The thing I haven't figured out: how to have word count goals that I exceed. There's no reason I can't write more words than my goals on days when I have a goal, but I usually don't.) But I also know I need to take good care of myself during the summer, so I think I'm sticking to fun writing goals only (meaning: not my novel) until September at least. Also, until July 6, my goals are just to finish prompt snippets.

Report on June:
  • Do something about selling book two. - No. This is coming off the list. Having it here hasn't made me do anything about it, but it does make me feel bad about not having done something.

  • Work on book three: 100 words per day, except Thursdays and Saturdays. - Did this for a week.

  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: start rewriting bits at the beginning and/or figure out/find someone to help me figure out what happens in the middle bits. - No.

  • Work on TBrown/OFC fic: 300 words per day, except Thursdays, until it's done. (It's so close!) - Check!

  • Decide if I'm going to do hockeybigbang and, if so, what I'm going to write for it. - Didn't sign up. But did start writing a story, so that's good.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired. - Check!

  • Say positive things on Twitter. - Somewhat.

Goals for July:
  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: start rewriting bits at the beginning and/or figure out/find someone to help me figure out what happens in the middle bits.

  • Edit/post TBrown/OFC fic.

  • Work on AGally/Prusty fic. Word count to be determined later.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired.

  • Say positive things on Twitter.

Fic: Dog Days (Hockey, Tyler Brown/Tyler Seguin, 2300 words, Explicit)
rsadelle
Summary: This isn't wanting to tie Segs up or Segs wanting to blindfold him or anything like that. This is way out into weird territory.

Notes: The video mentioned in the story is real. Everything else is made up.

Content Note: Puppy play.

Story on AO3


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Four- and Three-Day Weekend Prompt Snippets
rsadelle
I'm taking tomorrow and Friday off this week and next Friday is a holiday, which means I have a four-day weekend this weekend and three-day weekend next weekend. I'm going to use this time to do what I love to do on long weekends and write prompt snippets.

Leave me a prompt by, say, Saturday morning, and I will write you something by the evening of July 6.

Fine print/guidelines: One per person. Lurkers and anonymous commenters welcome. Generally first come first served, although things may jump the queue depending on inspiration. I will write hockey, but not Patrick Kane or Drew Doughty. I may write other fandoms; feel free to ask if you want something else. I may veer from your prompt. I will take lyric prompts, but be forewarned that I'm not necessarily good at them. I make no promises about length, but in the past prompt snippets have tended to be 300-3000 words.

Fic: Time Out of Sync (Hockey, Carter/Richards, Jeff/Megan, Mike/Lindsey, 4300 words, Explicit)
rsadelle
Summary: Mike has no idea what to do with the teenage version of his best friend.

Notes: Happy birthday lakeeffectgirl! This is not exactly the teenage!Jeff shows up story I meant to write, but I hope you like it anyway.

Content Note: Non-celebrity partners appear in this story; skip it if that's not your thing.

Story on AO3


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May Writing Goals Report, June Writing Goals
rsadelle
Report on May:
  • Do something about selling book two. - Still no.

  • Work on book three: 100 words per day, except Thursdays and Saturdays. - Mostly, I was sick and stepped back on writing goals until I felt better.

  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: 100 words per day on weekdays, 200 words per day on weekends, except Thursdays. - Mostly, I was sick and stepped back on writing goals until I felt better, and then I hit the end of the story and don't know what's going to happen in some middle parts.

  • Work on TBrown/OFC fic: 200 words per day on weekdays, 300 words per day on weekends, except Thursdays. - Mostly, I was sick and stepped back on writing goals until I felt better, and once I wasn't working on Bollig/Shaw kink fic, I upped this to 300 words per day.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired. - Check!

  • Say positive things on Twitter. - Somewhat.

Goals for June:
  • Do something about selling book two.

  • Work on book three: 100 words per day, except Thursdays and Saturdays.

  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: start rewriting bits at the beginning and/or figure out/find someone to help me figure out what happens in the middle bits.

  • Work on TBrown/OFC fic: 300 words per day, except Thursdays, until it's done. (It's so close!)

  • Decide if I'm going to do hockeybigbang and, if so, what I'm going to write for it.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired.

  • Say positive things on Twitter.

This is not a drill. This is not fic. This is real life.
rsadelle
Tyler Seguin Skypes/Facetimes/whatevers with Tyler Brown while lying shirtless in bed, and then screencaps it for later:

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(Source)

April Writing Goals Report, May Writing Goals
rsadelle
Report on April:
  • Do something about selling book two. - Still no. Sigh.

  • Work on book three: 100 words per day, except Thursdays and Saturdays. - All but two days.

  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: 100 words per day on weekdays, 200 words per day on weekends, except Thursdays. - All but two days.

  • Work on TBrown/OFC fic: 200 words per day on weekdays, 300 words per day on weekends, except Thursdays. - All but two days.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired. - Check!

  • Say positive things on Twitter. - Mostly.

Goals for May:
  • Do something about selling book two.

  • Work on book three: 100 words per day, except Thursdays and Saturdays.

  • Work on Bollig/Shaw kink fic: 100 words per day on weekdays, 200 words per day on weekends, except Thursdays.

  • Work on TBrown/OFC fic: 200 words per day on weekdays, 300 words per day on weekends, except Thursdays.

  • Write miscellaneous snippets as inspired.

  • Say positive things on Twitter.

Fic: what we'll teach our children (Hockey, Tyler Brown/Tyler Seguin, 3600 words, Mature)
rsadelle
Summary: There are four dozen plastic eggs hidden in the house and the makings of Easter dinner in the fridge. They have guests coming over later. Playoffs have started. Segs is still asleep when Tyler gets home from church.

Notes: I have no actual knowledge about either Tyler's religious background, upbringing, or beliefs. I guessed Tyler Brown was raised at least nominally Catholic because he mentioned in an interview that his family is from Montreal. I also took a guess at which players might not have family around for Easter a few years from now. Devin is an actual Stars prospect I chose mostly at random.

Story on AO3


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